show starting post by ladydiamondz
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I just want to encourage you, I know your in a tough situation and so are the kids. They are probably acting up because its new to them and hurts that their dad is gone. Have you gone down to apply for WIC yet or any social services? Try not to lose control with the kids, I know its difficult with the stress you are under but they are children and don't know the half of what your worried and stressing about. They do need to learn to listen to you though , especially the 8 year old. Try taking her things away when she doesn't listen and keep taking things until you get her attention. Once she doesnt have anything, she needs to realize the only way to get things back is to behave and earn them back. I would stop yelling at them, it just doesnt work because if you yell all the time, they start thinking you aren't serious. I only yell when I am done talking. I do spank my kids if I have exhausted reasoning with them and they still choose to misbehave. But I only spank them for for two things, lying and disrespect. They have to know I am so serious about those two things, it will get them a spanking. If they lie to me, I feel it will start a pattern of not taking responsibility for their actions and this will be a huge downfall later in life. If they learn to lie then they get better and better at it and thats not what I want for them. As for disrespect, thats intolerable. One day your cute little girls will become teenagers(ugghhh) and they need to know now about respect. My two year old son likes to hit people in the face, I told him its not nice, it hurts, be nice show respect. He doesn't understand the concept of respect I know, however I take his hand and gently touch my face if he hits. Now, when he hits< I remind him "show respect, show me nice touches" and he self corrrects and touches my face softly. As he gets older and better understanding, he will be taught that hitting is disresepctful and it will lead to a spanking. I only yell for something serious...once my little one took off running in a parking lot before I could grab him and I yelled sooo loud, he was terrified! He came right back and was crying really hard because I scared him. It got his attention so well I decided to only yell if I want him to stop where he is, like in a parking lot or if he is about to do something really dangerous like touch a cooking pot because I know it will get his attention. Of course this requires a ton of self control from me that I don't yell all the time (even when I feel like it) It will be a learning process for all of you but it will make you a better parent once you can practice self control and let the kids see it..I can teach you some couponing to save a little money on essentials like diapers but as soon as your up to it, it may be a good time to start potty training so you can save the money on buying diapers...Stockton is not a good place for jobs, the city is in a lot of financial ruin, but I do hope you got the hotel job..do you have any family that is able to help you?